When he was just slightly more than 4 months old, my son, Carson Riche, left his birth country of Korea and his foster parents there to begin life anew with us—his adoptive family in the United States.
We are delighted to share this question-and-answer blog post with Diakon Adoption & Foster Care Case Manager Crystal Wanamaker about the recent adoptions of a large sibling group:
When did you meet the children?
I met Jayden, Ricardo Jr., and Mya the day they were referred to our agency, which was July 23, 2010. I met Ruby on Jan. 17, 2012. She was placed with her siblings two days after she was born. Jayden and Ricardo Jr. are 6-year-old twins, Mya is 5 years old and Ruby is 3 years old. The boys were adopted by the Rivera family, the girls by the Saylor family.
While Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are now past us, this guest column reminds us about how we should celebrate—and wisely use—our time with (and as) both parents and children.
It’s as if a mirror is being held up.
That’s how I often describe the early days of having our foster daughter. Similar to when you invite a guest to, well, anything—you become hyper-aware of how things look through their eyes (if you’re of the pious persuasion, try taking a friend to church—you’ll see what I mean).
The plan. We all have one. This idea in our head about how our life is going to be. My plan was wonderful. I was going to marry the man of my dreams. We were going to get pregnant soon after with our first child and then every two years or so after that we would add another little person to our family until we felt complete. Perfection right? But, you see, that was Monica’s plan, not God’s plan.
It took me until about our fourth miscarriage to realize my “plan” wasn’t going to happen. So what do we do now? We want to be parents. The fertility specialist can’t figure my strange body out! Now what? Adopt? At this moment I just needed someone to call me Mommy. And adoption felt so natural to me because it was something I always dreamed of doing later in life.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
— Kahlil Gibran
Blessed are the families who care for children whose parents are unable to rear them. My husband and I have a deep appreciation for all those who find homes for children who need them.
But the organization that puts parents and children together needs funds to perform this grand task. The parents who lovingly welcome these children need funds to support the healthy growth of these children. We are dedicated to helping raise some of that financial support and one of those ways is through a delicious fundraiser called Dining with Diakon.
With Mother’s Day rapidly approaching, have you ever considered what it’s like to be an adoptive or foster care mom?
Most children and families involved in foster care and adoption will agree the ride is not always a smooth one (though is any family’s?), but the destination—a permanent home for a child—makes the journey of utmost importance.
Nevertheless, unlike a pregnancy with a predetermined timeline (that baby is coming around nine months whether you are ready or not!), each placement is a unique experience involving the entire family—an experience those who have not fostered or adopted a child or youth may not understand.