It’s just like a vacation.
That’s what the 101-year-old calls her occasional stays in personal care at a Diakon Senior Living Community.
“My family—I am so fortunate to live with them—travels a lot during the year. They work hard and certainly deserve that time away,” says the woman.
“And I certainly never want to be a burden!”
The dates may have varied in each senior living community, but the outcome was the same. For us, it was March 12 of last year. The day everything changed.
That was the day the Diakon senior living community of which I am chaplain closed its doors to visitors and most family members to protect our residents from the virus that can cause COVID-19 disease. In an instant, most of my tasks as chaplain fell away.
The pandemic has upended so many aspects of life and, for some families, it has underscored the need for personal care and the individualized lifestyle and services it offers.
Nevertheless, determining that you or a loved one needs personal-care support is never an easy decision. Unfortunately, the process doesn’t end there. In fact, some people say the hardest part comes after the decision: Choosing the right personal care community.
This decision can take a while, but that’s okay. It’s not a decision to be made in a rush, but sometimes situations require a decision sooner than we might want. Research upfront can be especially helpful because what might be important to you or another family member may not be to your loved one.
Because personal care communities differ in size, configuration and offer, here are 10 questions you can ask that may ease your decision-process:
1. How are care plans created? The term “personal care” can encompass many things. Some older adults require only a little extra assistance, such as help with cleaning, cooking or transportation. Others may require more extensive assistance for medication management, dressing and bathing and even mobility assistance. When choosing a personal care community, be sure you are selecting one that carefully considers the needs of each resident rather than having a one-size-fits-all approach.
2. What floor plans are available? Different communities may have different approaches to personal care. If your loved one needs light care, he or she may be able to live in a private-style suite; other suites may have a shared bathroom or other adaptations based on need. Review various options so that you find accommodations that fulfill both physical and personal needs.
3. Does the community have a wait list? Many personal care communities have full residency and maintain a wait list for prospective residents. If you find several communities you like and they’re full, it’s a good idea to put your name on a waiting list so that if accommodations become available, you can be ready to move. This is another reason it’s important to start looking for a community before it’s medically necessary; that way, you don’t have to settle for “good enough”; you can settle for “exactly what I want.”
Click here to read more questions to ask in the decision-making process!
When older adults face an illness, the need for recovery from a hospitalization or support with daily activities, loved ones may think short-term rehabilitation is the perfect option.
Often, it is.
But we may also need to consider what happens if the loved one is not able to regain abilities fully. Where do you turn next at that point?
Organizations such as Diakon Senior Living Services can help. If you have an aging parent preparing for short-term rehabilitation, making slow progress or not meeting goals, you may want to consider discussing long-term care before it is needed.
Tom knew Sarah could no longer remain at home.
It was impossible for him to be home all the time and even with occasional help from family and friends and a local agency, taking care of Sarah—whose battle with Alzheimer’s disease had begun slowly but escalated recently—was becoming more difficult.
Tom knew they had reached the stage at which Sarah needed intensive memory care.
Yet, like many people, he had no clue where to begin. And even though he had accepted the need for care, would Sarah—if she even understood what was happening? Yet what had been her wishes? Where would she enjoy living? How might he even broach the subject?
While every situation is different, the transition from home to memory care can be a difficult conversation to have, if not with the person experiencing memory loss, at least with other family members.
If your loved one’s memory loss is beginning to require care beyond what you can provide, that person’s safety is at risk—plus, despite your best efforts, your loved one may not be receiving the care or even lifestyle he or she deserves.
Discussing such a transition can prompt a lot of stress, agitation and even downright anger if the topic is not approached properly. That is why it’s important to bring this up at a good time.
Discussing memory care is often best done on one of your loved one’s better days and at the person’s best time. If the loved one is at his or her best in the morning, consider bringing the subject up over breakfast, rather than later in the day.
Certainly, it’s very important to listen to the person’s wishes and consider individual thoughts and feelings. The discussion may, in fact, take place over time.
My loved one is transitioning to a memory-care community. Now what?
Whether your loved one has decided to make a move on his or her own, or you needed to make that difficult choice, it’s important to ease into the transition. There are a number of ways you can help them. Consider some of the following suggestions by clicking here.
Several Diakon Senior Living Services staff members recently discussed the fact most people call what we offer in our personal care communities assisted living.
Because of varying licensures in Pennsylvania (Maryland is different—what we offer there is called assisted living), what Diakon’s senior living communities provide is technically called personal care.
Yet the term simply means we are providing assistance to people with the activities of daily living.
As we grow older, there may come a time it becomes harder to live on our own, yet we still want an independent lifestyle.
Personal care is helpful when it’s not possible for us to remain in our own homes any longer. Personal care allows people to continue to enjoy an active lifestyle, programs, activities, social opportunities—along with daily care.
People who receive personal care typically live the same lifestyle as before, except with the benefit of a little added care when it’s needed.
Click here to learn how personal care can help with daily tasks.
I love when we’re able to help people gain the care they need, but often don’t want to seek, typically for a variety of reasons.
Right now, several Diakon senior living communities, Diakon Senior Living – Hagerstown among them, are helping motivate people to seek personal care or, as it is known here in Maryland, assisted living—through various incentives.
But why might older adults who need such care not seek it immediately? Certainly, as people grow older, they may notice changes in abilities. Whether someone has suffered a fall, is recovering from a surgery or simply needs assistance completing the typical tasks of daily living, personal care may be of great benefit.
But when some older adults hear the phrase “personal care,” they may have a negative reaction.
They think, for example, that they don’t need any help and that they are still sufficiently independent to continue caring for themselves.
That perspective is understandable, but family members and other friends may quickly spot the need for assistance.
What are signs a loved one may benefit from personal care?
Is a loved one no longer taking care of him- or herself? Wearing the same clothing for more than a day? No longer seeming to care about appearance?
If so, the person may be having trouble completing these tasks or attending to basic needs. Not only can this situation decrease confidence, but it can also continue to affect independence.
If loved ones react negatively to the idea of personal care, they may be falling victim to myths they’ve heard. To combat this, you could help to dispel those myths …
● Personal care will decrease my independence. This couldn’t be further from the truth; in fact, personal care can actually enrich your quality of life enough that you may become more independent. For example, if you don’t need to spend time worrying about certain activities of daily life, you may be able to focus more fully on wellness, improving your health through exercise and participating in more lifelong-learning opportunities.
To read more about dispelling the myths about personal care, please click here.
As people age, many adult children and their families wonder how long their older loved one should live alone.
Common questions and worries include:
• Are they eating enough?
• Are they gaining enough socialization?
• Are they taking their medications and paying their bills on time?
If you aren’t with your loved one every day, it can be hard to be sure, leaving you increasingly worried.
One thing is certain, though: Your loved one is unlikely to let you know he or she needs additional help!
That’s why it’s important to keep an eye out and check in often to ensure loved ones are getting the support they need while living the lifestyle they deserve.
However, if you are beginning to suspect a loved one may need personal care, here are a few telltale signs you could be right:
Common questions and worries include:
• Are they eating enough?
• Are they gaining enough socialization?
• Are they taking their medications and paying their bills on time?
If you aren’t with your loved one every day, it can be hard to be sure, leaving you increasingly worried.
One thing is certain, though: Your loved one is unlikely to let you know he or she needs additional help!
That’s why it’s important to keep an eye out and check in often to ensure loved ones are getting the support they need while living the lifestyle they deserve.
However, if you are beginning to suspect a loved one may need personal care, here are a few telltale signs you could be right:
● Declining hygiene. Does your loved one not appear as neatly groomed as before? If family members or friends used to take pride in their appearance and don’t appear to care anymore, make note of that. If you visit the next day and they are in the same outfit as the day before, it’s likely a sign hygiene has declined.
Please click here to read about more the telltale signs…
If you’ve just begun caring for an older adult, it’s easy to be confused by the jargon of senior-focused health care.
And if you’re searching for a senior living community, the various terms and phrases to describe different levels of care require building a new set of vocabulary just to navigate literature you receive.
In addition to the terms about your loved one’s health conditions, there are a handful of phrases all caregivers should know while they are providing care and when choosing a senior living community.
Finding Order in the Acronyms
Many senior living communities refer to their levels of care services with acronyms. When you are familiar with these common terms, you’ll find it easier to determine which services different communities provide.
Click here to read this helpful information.
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The deepest learning often happens when students are able to connect the classroom experience with the “real world.” Our winter-term partnership with Manatawny Manor for a project called “Storied Lives” allowed my students to put a face to our learning and make it personal.
My students and their residents cried together and laughed together; they exchanged personal stories, shared life advice, and sat in thoughtful silence together; they held hands and emotionally embraced each other. Their interactions were emblematic of a deep connection that these partnerships built over the course of seven weeks.
