Looking back on my time in the Diakon Youthful Offenders Program, the biggest change I’ve noticed in myself is my moral compass, which is definitely stronger now—I think differently now and am much more open-minded. I’ve also learned what it really means to be grateful. It’s not just about the big things but being thankful for the little things, too.
One of the biggest moments for me was when I realized I had to deal with problems right away. Before, I might have just let things slide, but in this program, you learn to handle things like conflict better. At first, it was tough, but I learned that even the hard stuff has its lesson. Everything has a greater outcome, and even the challenges are worth it in the end. The program also taught me not to take life for granted. A lot in life can be unpredictable, and I’ve learned to appreciate what I have.
The Hazleton family’s adoption journey began after a difficult pregnancy with their daughter, Madelyn. Coupled with that experience, parents Michael and Britney both had less-than-ideal childhoods. Michael had grown up with parents who, though they stayed together, were distant and unaffectionate. Britney’s parents had divorced, leaving her to shoulder the care of her younger siblings and endure her mother’s struggles with undiagnosed mental health issues. These experiences, along with their commitment to family, led them to consider adoption when Madelyn was just six months old. By late 2018, they decided to take the first steps, expecting it might take years to find the right match.
Surprisingly, within three months, they were approved and began searching. They initially focused on children legally free for adoption but were matched with a 12-year-old named Madison, who was still in foster care. Michael and Britney did their best to welcome Madison into their home, even coordinating visits with her siblings to help her feel connected. However, they soon faced significant challenges, and after a serious incident, Madison had to move out to ensure Madelyn’s safety. The adoption process slowed further when COVID hit, giving the family time to regroup.
In 2020, the Hazletons were matched with 11-year-old Nadaleena. Although she wasn’t legally free for adoption, she quickly bonded with Michael, Britney, and Madelyn, feeling like a perfect fit. But after her aunt’s unexpected passing, Nadaleena decided to live with her cousin. The Hazletons were heartbroken, and they took time to grieve as a family. Counseling sessions helped them heal, and by the fall of 2021, Britney felt drawn to look through adoption profiles again. With Michael’s support, they re-opened their file, eventually leading them to meet R.J. at a small matching event in November 2022.
Have you set new goals for yourself in the new year? Now is the perfect time to plan and start fresh.
Just because you’re an older adult doesn’t mean you can’t plan for the long term. Taking the time to focus on your overall health to live a healthy new year and beyond will make every moment from here on out more special.
Click here to explore some meaningful New Year’s resolutions tailored specifically for seniors, promoting physical, mental and emotional well-being.
There’s nothing like having a movie night. With a snack and a cozy blanket, with or without friends, you’re in for a great time! But what movie to watch? If you’re retired or are almost there, there are a good number of movies that might hit the right note for you at this time of life!
While they span the spectrum of drama, comedy, action and romance, these movies all explore the interesting themes of this stage of life and how this exciting new adventure can also be about beginning again.
Click here to see the complete list of movies and find the one that’s right for tonight!
Decorating a
senior living apartment is a journey of self-expression and creativity. It’s an
opportunity to curate a space that mirrors
your personality, fosters
comfort, radiates charm
and creates your home.
In all
our Diakon senior living communities, we encourage residents to express their
personality and creativity in their apartments. With a few tips and tricks, you can explore
the art of transforming your living space into a haven of style and
functionality.
Click here to dive into the world of design and embark on a delightful adventure in crafting a home that’s uniquely yours!
When the air is crisp, and all the leaves start changing colors, it can only mean one thing: autumn is here. This is one of the best seasons to enjoy the outdoors without the hassle of the summer heat. There are all kinds of fun activities to do that will make you look forward to each new and chilly day.
“Fall is a perfect season for seniors to enjoy the outdoors. You’re not worrying about the heat, and winter is still a couple of months away,” says Matt Petrauskas, Director of Sales Training and Support at Luther Crest, a Diakon senior living community in Pennsylvania. “Older adults should definitely avail themselves of the fresh air and all the fun activities that happen at this time of year.”
For more information about outdoor activities for seniors that you can enjoy this fall season, click here.
Our family started in November 2008. Troy and I got married at the Myakka River State Park, where we met. At that time, we thought that neither Troy nor I could conceive a child, and we had planned our life without children. However, we received the good news that we were pregnant late in 2009, and our daughter Danika was born in 2010 at 31 weeks of gestation. Early on, during her youngest years, we discussed enlarging our family, but Troy and I knew we did not want to go through the NICU experience ever again. After we had decided, we started praying every night for the “sister” that God would bring into our home and our family.
As a child, I did not know that there were children that could live without their parents, and once I found out, a tremendous love filled me, and I had a purpose. My mother was not so convinced and tried to dissuade me at that young age, but that love was always there. I remember every year buying Christmas cards for my friends, and I would order them from UNICEF for over 20 years hoping that the small contribution would go towards orphaned children.
Through my place of employment, we participated in the Christmas Angels program every year for foster care children, but we did not go to Diakon for any resource family information. We started our journey by visiting a different agency but did not have a good fit right away and placed our plans about adoption on hold. My coworker, who had never extended a lunch invitation, one day reached out and asked if I wouldn’t mind dropping off a donation at Diakon Adoption & Foster Care with her and then going to lunch. When we arrived, I was taken by Diakon. I knew this was it. That night I came home full of hope, and when I discussed it with Troy, he was immediately on board, especially because Diakon Lutheran Social Ministries is Lutheran-affiliated, which is the church denomination he attended in his younger years. Looking back, I would say it was a “sign,” an indication from the Lord that our purpose was there.
We went the next day to the office, and things progressed quickly. During our classes, there was a presentation on trauma and its effects on children. It was a day full of strong emotions for both the instructors and the students. We all went out for lunch and strongly considered whether or not we could deal with it. As we sat in the very small restaurant by the railroad tracks, an elderly lady, accompanied by a mid-30s woman who appeared to be her caretaker, sat at the small table next to us. This lady was probably three steps away from me and every time I made eye contact, she gave me the sweetest of smiles. Her companion was seated between her and me, so I only saw her face. Troy and I were engaged in heavy conversations about the horrors of trauma. At one point, Troy got up to get a coffee, and the lady’s caretaker got up to go to the bathroom. This time when I made eye contact, she gave me her sweet smile, and I smiled back and saw that her shirt had a Bible verse written on it. It read: “Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created”- Esther 4:14. Troy came back to the table and found me trying to hold my tears, and when I explained, we both knew that we were going to do this. Our daughter Danika had been involved in this journey with us since before we went to Diakon, and that night we told her we knew it was going to happen.
Bella came into our home a few months later. Her sister Lilly came into our home nine months after Bella.
There are so many pieces of advice that we would give now
that we have been through this process. The most important ones are:
1. You will never be fully prepared, and you will never be ill-prepared. This is not the labor of one or two people; there is a village of people behind these children that doesn’t stop with your immediate family and friends. Diakon, CYS, social workers, therapists, doctors, specialty therapists, churches, neighbors: they all help! The goodness in people shines when you adopt. Friends, who we didn’t know were adopted, have come into our house to tell us their stories and to lend a supportive hand without prompting. Neighbors dropped off school uniforms (we still have to buy the first uniform for the girls), and the church has surrounded these two girls with love and support. Through Diakon and others, the support gave us a cushion we did not expect. Do not be afraid.
2. Pay attention in the classes and review all material often. Study the information, memorize the locations of resources and enroll in all parenting and trauma-related classes you can attend. We like to say that you should study as if you were going to college. Whether you have a biological child or not, parenting a child requires us to be resourceful and insightful about our interactions and how we provide guidance to the children. When trauma is part of the equation, two plus two does not equal four. What we know about raising our biological daughter does not always apply to our adopted daughters. Likewise, what we know about raising our adopted daughters does not always apply to our biological daughter. Be resourceful. Reach out for advice. Enroll in classes. The sacrifices you make in proactively preparing pay dividends when you see your children are well-adapted.
3. All children need advocates. Biological and adopted children need advocates to fight the larger battles for them until they learn to fight them on their own. We learned through this process that love, although fundamental to a child’s development, is not enough. Children in the foster care system were separated from their parents (trauma) and were placed in temporary placement. Most of the time, they are moved again (more trauma) and sometimes separated from their siblings (more trauma). Understand that your role as a parent is and will always be to ensure these children thrive in life. It takes advocating for them. It takes asking questions, being informed and writing letters, making phone calls and visiting with their team, school and therapists. It takes educating those around you. It takes being their voice because they are looking at you to do it for them. This is where the network that you developed becomes your best support system.
4. Treat the biological family with care and compassion. The children love their biological parents no matter what. They are too young to understand any wrongdoing done by adults. All they know is that they love their parents and family. If contact is allowed by the judge, form a bond with the parents. It will not take away from your relationship with the children. It will strengthen your relationship in the long term. In our experience, adoptees want their biological family engaged. Some of the family might have had problems that you and I will not face, and they probably made choices that you and I would not have made. Be compassionate and wise. You are doing it for the children and their well-being.
We had a lot of surprises during this process:
* We were surprised by the amount of support that
continues to be given to us. The overwhelming goodness of people still floors
us.
* The innocence and resilience of these children fill our hearts with strength.
* We had always heard that there was a lot of paperwork and prohibitively expensive to adopt. I was surprised that the paperwork could be completed in one or two weekends if you diligently sit to finalize it. We did not have any out-of-pocket expenses that we can recall. If we did, they must have been minimal.
* We thought we knew good people until we met the team surrounding these children.
* The number of children in the foster care system is very large, and some kids age out of the system without ever having a family to call their own.
* The beauty of these children cannot be described here. We were surprised by the immediate connection we had. It was the same as with my biological daughter. The minute we placed our eyes on her, those feelings filled our hearts; it was the same with Lilly and Bella.
Things we learned:
* We learned the definition of trauma.
* We learned that a 5-year-old could be more resilient than a 50-year-old.
* We learned what it is to kneel next to a child’s bed,
cry with them and guide them through prayer because we did not know how to
change their circumstances.
* We learned to advocate for siblings.
* We learned parenting techniques.
* We learned to admire children for their strength.
* We learned to breathe in together, time-ins and rocking a 6-year-old to sleep is important because nobody had done so before.
* We are STILL learning…
-Written by Diakon Adoption & Foster Care parent Claudia Pankowski
For more information about Diakon’s adoption and foster care programs, please click here.
When
you envision your retirement, where do you picture yourself? Maybe you think of
the beach or the mountains. Perhaps you see yourself in a big city or a quiet
neighborhood. You can settle down anywhere without your job tying you to a
specific region.
“Retirement is a celebrated time in life in which seniors can live to the fullest extent. But seniors often face tough financial decisions during this time,” says Cindy Bonney, Vice President for Sales & Marketing at Diakon Senior Living Services.
“In the tax-friendly state of Pennsylvania, older adults stand to benefit from many incentives, rebates and exemptions that can ease this stress.”
Here at Diakon Senior Living, we can help make this transition easier. We are here to provide for the needs of you or your loved one. This includes financial information, such as tax benefits, that will help protect your nest egg and stretch your dollar when retiring in Pennsylvania.
For example, Pennsylvania retirees enjoy full exemptions on all retirement income, including Social Security benefits, pension income (for those aged 60 or older), and payments from retirement accounts like 401(k) accounts and Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs). Only three other states in the United States offer an exemption on retirement income tax!
Pennsylvanians also benefit from sales tax exemptions and property taxes. Items like grocery bills, clothing, pharmaceutical drug costs and residential heating fuel are not subject to sales tax, and the 6% sales tax is among the lowest 20 states in America. In addition, property tax and rent relief can be provided by the Property Tax/Rent Rebate Program. Homeowners and renters aged 65 years or older – and widows(ers) aged 50 years or older – could qualify for these tax rebates.
Adolescence
is a highly formative time. This crucial period involves developing important
social and emotional habits for mental wellness. Adopting sleeping patterns,
coping mechanisms, problem-solving and interpersonal skills are just a few of
the habits and skills developed during adolescence.
Various things influence mental health in youth. The more adversity an adolescent is exposed to, the more significant the potential impact on their physical and psychological health. The World Health Organization (WHO) explains that adolescents with mental health conditions are much more vulnerable to social exclusion, discrimination, stigma, educational difficulties, risk-taking behaviors, poor physical health and human rights violations.
ADHD,
anxiety, behavior problems and depression are the most commonly diagnosed
mental disorders among youth; sometimes, they occur together. Other common
diagnoses include substance-use disorders and eating disorders.
Important
considerations, per the CDC:
Among children living below 100% of the federal poverty level, more than 1-in-5 had a mental, behavioral or developmental disorder.
Age and poverty level affected the likelihood of children receiving treatment for anxiety, depression or behavior problems.
Children who were discriminated against based on race or ethnicity had higher percentages of one or more physical health conditions and one or more mental health conditions.
Consider this… before the Covid-19 pandemic, suicide was the
second-leading cause of death among individuals aged 10-34.
Adolescents
have a lot on their minds these days. The pressures that teens face can feel
overwhelming. Here are some of the main contributors to the ongoing rise in
concern for youth mental health:
Racial disparities
Socio-economic
disparities
Bullying
Alcohol/Drug use
Poverty
Teen pregnancy
Gangs
Violence
Academics
Extracurricular
activities
Abuse
LGBTQ+ considerations
Being
a youth in today’s society is by no means easy. There is something equally as tricky,
though…. Parenting. The mental health of children is often enmeshed in that of
their parents. Caregivers need support that can, in turn, help them support
their children. Parental burnout is real.
What is parental burnout? Similar to a match that is no longer lit, parental burnout can be defined as having no energy left to give. Parental burnout is the depletion of one’s resources.
What causes burnout?
Trying to be perfect –
there is no such thing as a perfect parent!
Financial struggles
Single parenting
Too many activities
Hectic work schedule
Lack of support
What are some ways to
avoid burnout before it happens?
Take time for yourself.
Ask for help.
Enlist a partner – someone who can hold you accountable!
Rearrange schedules.
Consistent self-care – this doesn’t have to be lavish – but it has to be specific to you – it has to be something that will help you refill your cup.
Grow your empathy.
Allow yourself to feel all the feelings! – the good, the bad, and the ugly!
Don’t take your child’s behavior personally.
What are the symptoms
of burnout?
Depression
Irritability
Lack of sleep
Anxiety
Crying spells
Lack of clear thoughts (mental
clutter)
Job burnout (for a working
parent)
Emotional distancing
Parental ineffectiveness
Escape ideation
What do we offer at
Diakon to help in this area?
We
offer numerous services that can be beneficial for families and individuals
dealing with the stress of life on life’s terms.
Diakon Family Life Services specializes in the treatment of mental health and substance use disorders. Treatment can include individual therapy, family therapy, group therapy, psycho-education and more. With expertise in areas of adolescent substance use, adolescent mental health, trauma, family systems and relationships, our team of clinicians brings an unmeasurable amount of training and experience to the field of behavioral health.
Diakon
Family Life Services boasts varying levels of care and treatment to best meet
the needs of families and individuals in our care:
Family-Based Mental
Health Services (FBMHS)
Specialized In-Home
Treatment for youth sexual behavior (SPIN)
Outpatient Mental
Health Therapy
Outpatient Substance
Abuse Therapy
Psychiatry services and
medication management for children, adolescents, and adults
Adolescent Psychological Evaluations for a higher level of care
Group Therapy
Medication Assisted
Treatment (MAT) for adults
Diakon
also offers free parenting classes using the Triple P curriculum. The Triple P – Positive
Parenting Program ® is a parenting and family support system designed to
prevent – as well as treat – behavioral and emotional problems in children and
teenagers. It aims to prevent problems in the family, school, and community
before they arise and to create family environments that encourage children to
realize their potential.
~ Author: Lindsay Seeger, Clinical Director, Diakon Family Life Services, Capital Region Outpatient Services
“Adult children want their parents to thrive,” explains Melissa Stanton, the marketing and sales manager at Cumberland Crossings, a Diakon Senior Living community in Carlisle, PA. “There are certain changes that are expected as a loved one ages. The pace of life might slow. Self-care may take on new dimensions. But there are some changes that indicate your loved one needs extra help.”
Melissa shares some helpful information in this post and answers the difficult question of how do you know when it’s the right time to broach the topic of senior care?
A good time is when you see your loved one struggling to complete essential daily activities such as dressing, bathing, managing meals and medication. Or when they are showing signs of memory loss – forgetting appointments or having trouble remembering common words. If you see their personal hygiene or the cleanliness of their home declining, or they are showing uncharacteristic behaviors/moods. If YOU or another caregiver is experiencing burnout, it is time to talk about senior care.
Right now, may be the ideal time to talk to your parents about a transition plan, even if some of these signs are very mild. It may not seem like an easy conversation to have but having a plan in place can help everyone focus on enjoying the present!
Often, seniors express the desire to age in place. In many cases, this means a family member steps into a caregiving role. While this may be sustainable for a while, there is a strong chance of your loved one’s caregiver experiencing burnout. This could necessitate an added layer of help or a move into senior living. You know the baseline mood of your loved one. You know what kinds of behaviors are typical and which are concerning. If you’re noticing emotions and behaviors that are out of the normal range, this could be a sign your loved one needs some additional support.
