From Heartbreak to Healing
The Hazleton family’s adoption journey began after a difficult pregnancy with their daughter, Madelyn. Coupled with that experience, parents Michael and Britney both had less-than-ideal childhoods. Michael had grown up with parents who, though they stayed together, were distant and unaffectionate. Britney’s parents had divorced, leaving her to shoulder the care of her younger siblings and endure her mother’s struggles with undiagnosed mental health issues. These experiences, along with their commitment to family, led them to consider adoption when Madelyn was just six months old. By late 2018, they decided to take the first steps, expecting it might take years to find the right match.
Surprisingly, within three months, they were approved and began searching. They initially focused on children legally free for adoption but were matched with a 12-year-old named Madison, who was still in foster care. Michael and Britney did their best to welcome Madison into their home, even coordinating visits with her siblings to help her feel connected. However, they soon faced significant challenges, and after a serious incident, Madison had to move out to ensure Madelyn’s safety. The adoption process slowed further when COVID hit, giving the family time to regroup.
In 2020, the Hazletons were matched with 11-year-old Nadaleena. Although she wasn’t legally free for adoption, she quickly bonded with Michael, Britney, and Madelyn, feeling like a perfect fit. But after her aunt’s unexpected passing, Nadaleena decided to live with her cousin. The Hazletons were heartbroken, and they took time to grieve as a family. Counseling sessions helped them heal, and by the fall of 2021, Britney felt drawn to look through adoption profiles again. With Michael’s support, they re-opened their file, eventually leading them to meet R.J. at a small matching event in November 2022.
Though R.J. was also not yet legally free to adopt, the Hazletons connected with him instantly, and by early 2023, they had begun in-person visits. Taking things slowly, they introduced R.J. to Madelyn after a few visits, and the two became close right away. Weekend visits turned into sleepovers, and by June 2023, R.J. had officially moved in with the family.
Shortly after R.J.’s arrival, he asked if his friend Kaseem could come for a visit. Over the summer, Kaseem spent weekends and even a month-long stay with the Hazletons, who quickly grew attached to him. In May 2024, Kaseem confided in R.J. that he wondered if the Hazletons might “take him in too.” After a heartfelt family discussion, and with Madelyn’s enthusiastic support, they welcomed Kaseem as an official part of their family, making them a family of five.
The Hazletons’ journey has been about sharing the love, stability, and sense of belonging they deeply value. Their experiences have guided them to open their home, each new addition bringing them closer and reaffirming their dedication to providing a safe and loving family for those who need it most.
“With R.J., the most memorable moments aren’t the typical warm and fuzzy ones, but they’re deeply meaningful,” Britney shares. “On his first night with us, he asked to go for a walk—and did the same each night. By the fourth night, he invited me along. He told me he hadn’t been allowed to go for walks at the Children’s Home and that it felt freeing. He shared that he was used to ‘moving in the dark’ but wanted to be able to come to us, even with mistakes. We felt so blessed he opened up to us so quickly.”
“Kaseem had a bit of a rocky start due to a difficult relationship with a birth sibling, but his thoughtfulness shined through immediately,” Britney recalls. “Soon after he moved in, he went alone to the county fair. We gave him some cash, thinking he’d grab food or a small souvenir. When I called to pick him up, he told me he’d won Madelyn a prize. It took him three tries, but he’d been determined. When he brought home that GIANT rainbow unicorn, Madelyn squealed with joy. He’d already won her heart, but that moment overflowed all of ours. It was so moving for us all.”
“First and foremost, our strength has surprised us the most,” Michael reflects. “We’ve tackled some tough challenges with each of the four children we’ve fostered or adopted. Every experience has tested our marriage, parenting, patience, creativity, and boundaries. Not only have we dealt with the usual parenting struggles, but we’ve also faced intense judgment from others. People question why we’d bring teen boys into a home with a young daughter or why we’re willing to put in the hard work of fostering to adopt.”
“But we’ve learned to tune out the world,” he continues. “We’ve discovered that family has many forms, and the balance we need is one only we can define. Taking on teens has been a wild adventure—one we weren’t sure we were equipped for. Yet, every single day, we’re amazed by how much we love having teens in our home.”
“My husband and I learned long ago that family is made up of the people who show up, even on your darkest days—and often, those weren’t our blood relatives,” Britney shares. “When we decided to start a family, it was our chance to build something new: a family based on love, adventure, and inclusiveness. When we took the leap into adoption, it all clicked into place. R.J. showed us that Madelyn needed a brother, and we needed a son. The rare moments when he lowers his guard remind us that love isn’t always loud, but it’s powerful. Then came Kaseem, fitting in perfectly, balancing Madelyn’s sass and R.J.’s humor with his own quiet strength. Our kids became their own unit, and our family grew with their friends, who are now ‘bonus sons’ and her ‘bonus brothers.’”
“There were plenty of tough moments,” she continues, “especially with Kaseem, who tested every boundary. My husband wanted to let him go at times, but I knew that’s exactly what Kaseem was waiting for—he was used to people giving up on him. We had to show him we wouldn’t be like everyone else. I’d sit him down, again and again, to tell him that even when we disagree, we’re committed to each other. Eventually, the message got through, and the battles became worth it.
“For R.J., being adopted and changing his name was like a rebirth—it renewed him. Now, he’s a different kid: social, engaged, bringing friends home, and connecting more with Madelyn. Once these kids see your commitment level, their whole world shifts. It’s beautiful to see them grow into who they’re meant to be.”
“Getting called ‘Mom’ for the first time is heart-stopping in the best way, recalls Britney. “With R.J., he came right out with it early on, and it was beautiful. Kaseem was more hesitant. For weeks, he’d go back and forth between using ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ or just ‘Britney’ and ‘Michael.’ Eventually, I just asked him, ‘What do you want to call us? We’re good with either.’ He paused for a second and said, ‘I’m gonna go with Mom and Dad if that’s okay.”
“It feels like a major win because it’s something earned,” she continues. “A birth child calls you Mom or Dad as part of growing up. But these kids? They don’t need to call you anything except your name. It’s a choice they’re making, and every time they say it, it fills my heart.”
The Hazleton family offers heartfelt advice to anyone considering fostering or adoption:
“First, when reading profiles of potential placements, remember that these snapshots are just that—limited and often focused on negatives. The information shared usually reflects a small part of the child’s story and may not paint a full or balanced picture. Use it as a guide, not a fact sheet. Ask every question, say no to profiles that show clear red flags for your family, but stay flexible in your expectations. For instance, lying might be a concern, but sometimes the root cause isn’t what you’d expect. Our son would lie in small ways to avoid conflict; it was a defense mechanism, not malicious behavior. Over time, we’ve been able to work through this with understanding and trust.
Expect difficult moments when you may feel like giving up, but don’t. You will make mistakes, and when you do, own them. Be transparent about your errors and offer sincere apologies. This is especially important with older kids, who need honesty to build trust. You may also uncover hidden triggers in yourself along the way. Older children, in particular, have often been through hardships beyond words, and they may test you to ensure you’re not going anywhere.
They need to know you’ll fight for them. Be their voice and advocate, even when it’s challenging. They’ve been ignored and made to feel small—be willing to stand by them and to show that they matter. Sometimes, this might even mean pushing against certain rules or norms when it’s in their best interest. We promise it’s worth the effort.
For families with a younger child at home, fostering or adopting older kids isn’t easy, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible or rewarding. We’ve shown our birth daughter that love stretches beyond boundaries, that hard things are worth fighting for, and that kindness is something to be shared. Yes, your protective instincts will kick in for your youngest—but as you grow to love your new additions, those instincts will naturally extend to them, too. Just be willing to trust, be patient, and believe that your family can grow stronger through this journey.”
