Tag: Mother’s Day

What I really want for Mother’s Day

Dear Daughters,

Each year I love the Mother’s Day gifts, silly songs and the social media “shout outs.” I really do love them and if you want to continue doing those things, I will greatly appreciate it. However, this year I want you to know what I really want for Mother’s Day.

I want you to fully embrace that you are a person of value.

You may have experienced difficult circumstances or done things you regret, but none of those decreases your worth. What happens to you and what others say about you are not the things that define you.

During the times you experience rejection and loneliness, please remember that those times will pass. Do not perceive your value based on likes on your selfies or who sits at your lunch table. Don’t ever forget that you are so much more than what people see on the surface, so never let anyone make you feel as if you aren’t good enough.

You are one-of-a-kind and God has amazing plans for your life.

I want you to know I understand you.

Yes, I know that in the heat of the moment or when I have to say “no,” the opposite seems true. But my job is to protect you even when doing so doesn’t fit into your plans.

I will pray for you and use wisdom to figure out if what you want to do is in line with what is safe and healthy for your overall well-being. I will try to include you in the decision-making process as much as I can, but I need you to trust me. I’m not being “mean”; I understand things more than you think I do.

I want you to be genuine.

Be kind. Be generous. Be courageous. Be forgiving. Don’t ever try to be someone you were not created to be. It can be tempting to behave certain ways or say things to try to fit in, but I want you to stay true to who you really are.

I want you to know what the fairy tales don’t tell you.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship because there are no such things as perfect people. I know you are bombarded with social media posts with #Couple Goals and we have watched plenty of Disney movies and “chick flicks” with incomplete interpretations of romance.

You may be holding onto those unrealistic ideas even while you have already dealt with the pain of realizing that relationships are much more complex than a two-hour movie. Do not place all your hopes and dreams on your future boyfriend and husband; he should never be the main source of your happiness. Your identity needs to come from God and loving yourself—not in a selfish way—but in a way that allows you to know your importance in this world is not dependent on another person.

So when you ask me what I would like for Mother’s Day, it is for you to fully grasp all of these things and apply them to your lives.

That’s what would truly make this mama happy…and maybe some chocolate-covered strawberries if you insist.

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MothersDay

What I really want for Mother’s Day

Dear Daughters,

Each year I love the Mother’s Day gifts, silly songs and the social media “shout outs.” I really do love them and if you want to continue doing those things, I will greatly appreciate it. However, this year I want you to know what I really want for Mother’s Day.

I want you to fully embrace that you are a person of value.

You may have experienced difficult circumstances or done things you regret, but none of those decreases your worth. What happens to you and what others say about you are not the things that define you.

During the times you experience rejection and loneliness, please remember that those times will pass. Do not perceive your value based on likes on your selfies or who sits at your lunch table. Don’t ever forget that you are so much more than what people see on the surface, so never let anyone make you feel as if you aren’t good enough.

You are one-of-a-kind and God has amazing plans for your life.

I want you to know I understand you.

Yes, I know that in the heat of the moment or when I have to say “no,” the opposite seems true. But my job is to protect you even when doing so doesn’t fit into your plans.

I will pray for you and use wisdom to figure out if what you want to do is in line with what is safe and healthy for your overall well-being. I will try to include you in the decision-making process as much as I can, but I need you to trust me. I’m not being “mean”; I understand things more than you think I do.

I want you to be genuine.

Be kind. Be generous. Be courageous. Be forgiving. Don’t ever try to be someone you were not created to be. It can be tempting to behave certain ways or say things to try to fit in, but I want you to stay true to who you really are.

I want you to know what the fairy tales don’t tell you.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship because there are no such things as perfect people. I know you are bombarded with social media posts with #Couple Goals and we have watched plenty of Disney movies and “chick flicks” with incomplete interpretations of romance.

You may be holding onto those unrealistic ideas even while you have already dealt with the pain of realizing that relationships are much more complex than a two-hour movie. Do not place all your hopes and dreams on your future boyfriend and husband; he should never be the main source of your happiness. Your identity needs to come from God and loving yourself—not in a selfish way—but in a way that allows you to know your importance in this world is not dependent on another person.

So when you ask me what I would like for Mother’s Day, it is for you to fully grasp all of these things and apply them to your lives.

That’s what would truly make this mama happy…and maybe some chocolate-covered strawberries if you insist.

Because we review comments, they do not appear immediately. Please do not submit each comment more than once. Please review our comment policy.

 

Shared love: A potential bridge for birth and adoptive parents

Josh and I have been married for 18 years this year. We have five children, three born to us and two adopted; our oldest daughter has a son, so we’re also grandparents!

Josh owns two businesses and I stay at home to homeschool the children; in fact, we’re in our ninth year of homeschooling.

Our first adopted child was placed with us when she was 6 months old and we fostered her for 17 months before the adoption was finalized. Our second child was placed with us when she was 2 days old and we fostered her for 18 months before adopting her.

As you can probably tell, we are a busy, active family! We spend a lot of time with our extended family; in fact, the kids are very close to their cousins.

In the past, there was usually a “distance” kept between birth parent or parents and the foster or adoptive parents, but that is changing in many cases—and we think it’s a great thing, if possible in light of individual circumstances.

We met the birth mother of Izzy (Isabel), our second adopted child, when we took Izzy for her first doctor’s appointment. In fact, I had asked if we could meet Izzy’s birth mother in the hospital when we were being placed with her, but the response was that it was not a good idea. I wish now that I had pushed the idea more because at our first meeting, Izzy’s mom said she felt a little better after having met me.

I can’t imagine how scary and difficult it would be to have your newborn baby placed with “faceless” strangers. I felt it would have given her some peace if she had seen and met us.

In fact, that first meeting went really well!

We connected right away. I had been a little nervous because I didn’t have much information about the case, but had been told there were significant issues in the family. Yet, both parents were always respectful of us, kind and very appreciative of the care we were providing Izzy. She had been sleeping in her baby seat and her birth mother asked if she could hold her.

An unexpected and perfect plan

The plan. We all have one. This idea in our head about how our life is going to be. My plan was wonderful. I was going to marry the man of my dreams. We were going to get pregnant soon after with our first child and then every two years or so after that we would add another little person to our family until we felt complete. Perfection right? But, you see, that was Monica’s plan, not God’s plan.

It took me until about our fourth miscarriage to realize my “plan” wasn’t going to happen. So what do we do now? We want to be parents. The fertility specialist can’t figure my strange body out! Now what? Adopt? At this moment I just needed someone to call me Mommy. And adoption felt so natural to me because it was something I always dreamed of doing later in life.