Learning that rewards often outweigh risks…
As a career banker, I’ve spent the last 25 years looking for ways to manage and minimize risk. So you can imagine that when my husband and I were looking for the best options for us to become parents, the very last thing I wanted to hear about was something called “Legal-Risk Placement.”
After all, it has the word risk right in the name and, as a manager, I like to be in control. So instead, I set about finding the “safest” and easiest way for us to become parents. That approach led us through a three-year process to adopt a little girl from China. Not only did we lose much of our savings in the pursuit, we also lost the most precious thing of all—time.
That year, 2008, was a difficult year. We learned it was unlikely the China adoption program would move forward and both of the companies for which my husband and I worked were in crisis, eventually being sold. And that same year, five of my cousins had babies. It was a wonderful gift to have these beautiful children in my life … and yet also painful.
About that same time, I started to wake up consistently at 1:11 a.m. many times a week. These incidents were so unnerving I confided to my mom that I feared something terrible was going to happen. Little did I know that just when I thought God had turned His back on me, He was actually laying the foundation of what would be the greatest gift in my life. You see, that same year all those babies were born, so was mine; I simply didn’t know it at the time. And those five little ones would eventually become his cousins and closest friends.
After many years of brushing off the advice of women from my church to call Diakon, I finally made that call. I had learned that one of the children I taught in Sunday school had been adopted through Diakon. Actually knowing and caring for that girl broke down any preconceived ideas I had about children adopted from foster care.
That’s when I realized having faith meant more than attending church on Sundays—it meant surrendering control. In early 2009, we took foster-parent training classes and just before New Year’s Eve 2009, we got the call to become foster parents to a 13-month-old boy.
The best “risk” we ever took was saying yes!
The next 14 months were not easy. For the sake of the child—and yourself—you have to go “all in.” And while from the moment he was placed in my arms, I wanted to be his mother forever, there was also a range of emotions to deal with and steps we didn’t always agree with during the process.
But the one thing we focused on was how our beautiful boy flourished and how prayers could get me through the difficult days.
The best day of all came April of 2011 when we adopted him. That day, as I read through the details of his birth for the first time, you can imagine my surprise when I read the time Cayden was born. You guessed it: 1:11 a.m.!
Cayden is now 7 and he likes to point out that my favorite Bible verse, which hangs on our kitchen wall, also has three ones—it’s Hebrews 11:1 … Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
While we have always been very open with Cayden about adoption and celebrate his adoption day every year, last summer we talked in detail about how everything fell into place for us to become a family. And we asked him if he was as surprised as we were about how it all turned out.
His response was simple and true: “Not really, Mommy. At vacation Bible school we learned that God has the power to provide.”
~ Lori Roth
Diakon Adoption & Foster Care parent
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